The Solarian Conquest

You are also needlessly being a DICK to the MC from the start. More than one way.

There are people that will tap out because you start him as a broke assed BITCH (who has of course massive potential – and I can tell you EXACTLY how far that will get you; as plenty of my teachers said I had all the potential in the world > I have physical limitations that make blue collar work impossible and I didn’t end up finishing post secondary = All that “potential” is worth JACK SHIT if you can’t afford the Degree to get the job you want… and there is NO GOOD REASON to do that in a fucking FANTASY setting VIDEO GAME!!!)

> The grandfather’s was death flagged even before you kill the whole damned town off.
>> There’s NO good reason to refer to the ox-cart driver as Jeremy and then suddenly call him UNCLE. Or the same with Sam – people don’t just call random assholes “Uncle.” A friend of the family isn’t usually an aunt or uncle either – or it should be clear at every mention of the name that MC does view the character as X title of family. (I have second cousins older than me that I call aunt and uncle because that’s how they were introduced to us as kids. My Mom had a best friend that was always Aunt to us, same as her sisters… I’m not saying don’t do it > I’m saying be more careful and more clear)

> The fuckwit guard asks a person that has NEVER been to the town before if he knows the rules… How. The fuck. Do you assholes think he’d know the damned rules of your township?!? No one would get any tourism or marketing business if their “town guards” were this assholish. It happens TWICE, by the way. For no good reason. Once at the atual entrance; and once at the academy entrance (without you chuckleheads letting the player CHOOSE to tell the guard that was being an absolute ass – who ends up being reintroduced later, like you want to redeem her as NOT an asshole > SHE’S. STILL. AN. ASSHOLE! – that MC passed the fucking exam; he just doesn’t yet have the money to attend the damned school)

You BURNED HIS WHOLE DAMNED TOWN DOWN. [That fucking Ring had better either be magical or give MC a clue to the fact he’s some orphaned prince/noble/SUPERNATURAL HERO >>> something! * It’s chekov’s gun at the moment with literally no good reason the fucker WOULDN’T pawn it off to get the cash to pay for his school entry… Because YOU’RE not smart enough to mention or show why he SHOULDN’T]

> As to when MC was approaching the town on fire: “Hold your ground” is a BATTLE term used by soldiers, to soldiers. “Stay Back” would be what was commonly shouted by anyone with half a fucking brain cell. Hold your ground isn’t going to make it sound any more medieval… You shouldn’t talk to a PEASANT like he’s a soldier if you’re not from the start going to be TREATING him like he COULD be a soldier. You treated MC like he was worthless garbage; So that statement makes no sense, and will confuse your audience.

If this is the way you’re going to start a supposed harem game – I think you picked the wrong damned genre. You obviously like breaking people, and horror. It’s NOT that hard to write a decent Medieval themed POWER FANTASY. Jesus. At this point I expect you to introduce “JIN” (Which I expect you may have been drinking when you came up with the premise – because WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO NAME THE FUCKING MC!!!) to every noblewoman AND the queen and the princess; just to be told to directly fuck off or watch them get boned by every Tom with a Hairy Dick. That’s how much I’d say you know about how to reward the fucking player and make them feel like it was worth the effort to download.

*** Also fix your damned UI; the sword icon actually makes it much harder than it should be to click on any given tab. That’s STUPID. I get what you were going for – but fix it. Damn it. I shouldn’t have to be questioning whether I can get the fucking icon to aim at the right thing, in order to get your damned game to do what I want, just to start playing it. Or at any time I might want to you know, bloody SAVE!

Also – asshat: You do not get to build up that X thing for the test result is true = TELL the player that you CAN be a patrolman and still earn rank to X 2ND TO THE KING BULLSHIT RANK; and that it is ALL BUT GODDAMNED IMPOSSIBLE TO GET THERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING DIE!!! (That IS what “Herculean” means you dimwit – you’re literally laughing at MC for actually thinking he MIGHT do that and spitting in the face of the fucking audience…) AND then say the four ASSHOLE girls we just met end up OUTRANKING the player!

Fuck you. Fuck right off. Do not pass go. Do not collect ANY money for this bullshit. Period. You DO NOT need to write him into that kind of corner = and the ONLY way I will accept ANY of those rancid twits into MY HAREM if you are smart enough (which I doubt because I know all you knobs get off on NOT letting the player reject any of the girls… or if you dipshit do you will just say they’ll be important to the story so it doesn’t MATTER if we fucking hate them) to give me the choice about it, is if they ALL BEG ME to bend them: Breed them, and MARRY them.

End of. Why? Because you wrote them to be unnecessary assholes > you wrote the MC to be a weak assed little bitch (who somehow is supposed to be the fucking FOCAL point of your entire goddamned story )

Do Note: he does not have to START OP… he DOES need to GET to OP > and be able to fucking BECOME OP. Somehow. Not by Deus Ex bullshit. Not by you deciding you fucked up so I’m going to make the OP GIRLS SCREW UP… so that my MC looks like LESS of an asshat… HE NEEDS TO BE At least POWERFUL/DESIREABLE enough that the 666 fucking GIRLS slots you put there unnecessarily might actually decide before I DIE IN REAL FUCKING LIFE that he’s worth the effort of THEM DOING THE CHASING! If you can’t manage to convince me that’s remotely possible just getting past “the grand test” there’s NO fucking point in continuing a game where I now KNOW that you’re going to make the MC a simpering, overly apologetic pussy whipped little bitch boy gopher, OR at best an overworked fucking horse who happens to be way more capable than he’ll ever get credit for… for fuck sakes.

You wouldn’t have to have the mayor pay for his tuition if you hadn’t been an ass to start with. You SHOULDN’T make him be seeming to scrape by if he WAS granted what is effectively a fucking SCHOLARSHIP. Dumbass. There has to be a REASON he gets good enough marks to make the damned grade; and it SHOULDN’T fucking be to become a goddamned PATROLMAN/TOWN GUARD!!! >.<

Are. You. Legitimately. Special Needs? Are you retarded. Seriously. I am genuinely asking. Because so far you’re writing the story like you are. No one is going to keep playing longer than I have (if they like or want a harem to start with – and that is the DRAW of your damned game) if a) The girls they first meet are all this level of shrewish bitch, and b) you’re treating the MC this badly right off. Why don’t you just tie a boulder to his waist and toss him in the fucking lake while you’re at it? See if he can learn to breathe underwater. Because that’s how that works, according to your written brain power.