omiSt

Between this current update and the last – you’ve added several characters (that are NOT listed as potential Love Interests! Who SHOULD BE… )

It was also not that large an update. Especially since as the narrator you’ve decided to take passive aggressive swipes at the audience (no matter which path you choose – no bueno)

The scene with the Queen nude was Lesbian tinged/did not need to be. She’s more than old enough to fucking know how to BATHE on her own dude, and if she’s not she shouldn’t be in a porn game.

Clara STILL does NOT need to actually be married (if it’s on paper, you’re still convoluting an issue where she COULD just reasonably be a valued EMPLOYEE!!!)

Acknowledging that Ava was an asshole doesn’t allow you automatically to try to gain audience sympathy for the spoiled little rich girl > The MC is the one she needs to own up to, and take her shot with. As well as accept if the MC IS Irish; and work her way genuinely to getting INTO his good graces to prove her intent (Nina shouldn’t be dancing with Maddox; she’s a better candidate for BEING on the fucking list than Ava is herself for Christ’s sake) and that whole Daddy thing was just fucking weird. If Clara’s playing a game with them because she knows what’s up… fine. If she’s not, you made her look like the “cloud coocoolander” troupe for no good reason.

You DO NOT get to render a woman as attractive as Bonny (even if she’s “dark” – ala Ava >.<) and then NOT put her in the harem. I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if she’s the designated slave/breedmare ONLY content. She doesn’t have to be love. She doesn’t have to be a wife; she can be OWNED and that’s fine. If you EVER show her doing anything sexual with ANYONE but MC, I will drop this damned game in a heartbeat. So would many others. Try it and see.

The mars crap is you being needlessly convoluted; Lucia is needlessly FEMDOM written (with a Switch bar that’s hard to read) and the idea of making her a “freelancer” from Mars is MASSIVELY convoluted. You do realize that the side bar was pointless, if you want to do elves dude, just DO COSPLAY. Fuck references to it.

** Mars MAY have at ONE POINT fuck tons of years ago… had water on it. That doesn’t mean it was ever, or WILL EVER be habitable. You could literally have made up a planet that was genuinely habitable, and that is within the bounds of Sci Fi as well.

You also don’t need to do EVERY aspect of Sci Fi for fuck sakes, in one story. You went with super AI. There’s more than enough to finangle in that arc. You had enough with the half assed super powers that apparently only work when YOU want them to in the plot. You had enough with the VR bullshit (I’d wager you realized there was like 6 other games exactly the same that have such a storyline as their core hook and said Nope, can’t do that – but I can sure nod to it for yuks) You DO NOT need alien bullshit and space travel, or interstellar Game of fucking Thrones (Especially since MC in that case should be bending your low rent version of Danyreas over her throne to BREED by her choice; well before the ending, and Bonny absolutely gets to be collared, cuffed and IN on that ride)

At least that would make all the bullshit in the story worthwhile. But since you wanted to cock tease your audience about even grabbing Clara’s butt… I somehow doubt it’s gonna be worth the wait to find out if you actually have the balls to go there. [Here’s a hint to how it works = She. Is. The. QUEEN! She can do whatever, and WHOEVER she wants. Ergo, it should be the MC, because this is a HAREM game. Period)