Game of Inches

First, it STILL counts as NTR mate; because there will be those that DON’T find Telly unattractive or average (I actually found her more interesting in backstory than Jessica) so you DIDN’T kill two birds with one stone. It’s a HAREM – by your choice. If you know anything about the genre it’s that the BEST FRIEND never gets laid (on screen) or even close to implied to have. I don’t care that he HAS a girlfriend = I care that we can see and interact with her; and don’t get to have her. He’s fine to have an unnamed one (which ALSO fixes the “loyalty issue”) OFF-SCREEN. He can do what he wants with his girlfriend off-screen and no one who MIGHT be attracted to Telly then has to worry about her attainability, or being locked off from a choice that in a HAREM should be available at some point. Again, it’s not a thing that’s unsalvagable.

= She’s his first girlfriend – they don’t get to the “all the way” point but they will do some things (so for those that care Telly would still be a virgin…) and eventually they’ll break up. She chooses MC as she has been increasingly conflicted the more they’ve interacted and she’s discussed the issue with Jessica – who will push her to go for it. So she’ll eventually take the shot. Best Friend will find out that while he was focused on Telly, someone else was just as focused on him, so he doesn’t break emotionally. It will hurt; he gets his moment of stoic BEST FRIEND and proves he’s a truly good man by allowing her to follow her heart, without breaking the friendship. He will continue the relationship OFF-SCREEN (because he will absolutely rib MC for “stealing” Telly, often) and everything would be fine. They’re still best friends; it accepts the fact that first relationships are first relationships and rarely work out. No matter how invested one is, and it honors her actual empowerment in choice of whom to give her full heart to. Even admitting that the heart can be drawn to more than one person at once. As well as sticking to the genre as professed, and even allowing that more people than the MC will have love interests. It’s not really that hard to do.

If there was a walkthrough my point was CONTEXT. There was no context to what some choices would actually do. IE: With the party girl that is obviously there as a potential cock block to Jessica. I again reiterate that I appreciate we could both flirt with the girl, and stay loyal to Jessica; there was no walkthrough clue about which choices to make (and it’s fine if YOU consider them to be obvious, as a person with a social learning disability – who had to learn certain things the very hard way – I am telling you that not everyone is going to be clear on what path the choices will or will not activate. If you want to make a game with “consequences” for choice you have to properly inform the player what choices there are and where the hell they go. Not all of us want to replay games 666 times because you devs decide there’s a walkthrough that highlights the “important” choices = and then decide there are many “important choices” (there are some games that say they’re ALL important…) that don’t get shown even with a walkthrough. I did have reservations about flirting with the cheerleader; and was only relieved when choosing stay loyal to Jessica didn’t end badly with either female. Which with a walkthrough – should not need to happen. The point of a walkthrough is literally “I don’t want the chance of answering wrong.” Or in other words, tell me the answers.

To the issue of the male characters, the problem is; I don’t trust you. Not yet, and not necessarily at all. With what you have currently SHOWN there’s not much reason to just trust you. You’ve put one male character in that can even compete with The Player – and he’s NOT even supposed to. The rest have been older to the point they would’ve retired very likely, or are soon going to. One of them actually is, and you still intend to put him at length in the game. Both are porcine to the point it’s nearly insulting to males. There are plenty of elder but not older men who aren’t 300 freaking pounds. A bit of a pouch or a growing pot belly is fine, but be aware of varied body types. Bert for example as an over stressed harried and on the go salesman type could actually be reed thin with incredibly sharp eyes and severe features that mark him all business. With a shark’s smile that says he knows he can win you over in an instant. Whether he can or not wouldn’t matter. It would however have made him markedly physically distinct from the other older male in game, of the two that I know you introduced so far and the only three in the game as yet that aren’t the MC. Then, we might have been able to be willing to “just trust me, bro.” That’s what I was warning you about as far as the troupe of the Ugly Old Bastard. It’s a point to consider, going forward.

As to the MC; he slowly fell apart is fine. At least, to a point. Metally and emotionally I get that – but that DOES NOT necessarily translate directly to he’s going to “choke” or lose every time. Not with his SUPPOSED level of skill. Which I will reiterate, we HAVE NOT YET EVER SEEN. If you had shown beforehand a montage of his wins (a trophy case of all the accomplishments with his name on them, and or the team crowded around him thanking him for the wins as he GOT THEM THAT FAR – or something to that effect) We’d GET some context of him actually BEING a skilled player. To be that valuable to the team to start with… and THEN you can show him choking when he’s “lead them this far.” The context matters. Because then it does become about whether he can GET BACK to what he was and pull his own head out of his ass. The way you’ve written it now, he’s never been shown to be a winner. He has to GET THERE FIRST. We’ve only been TOLD that he has been a winner, which is again an issue of trust, in what is otherwise a potentially unreliable narrator. So we have no context that he might be able to pull anything off. As to whether or not he deserves all the things he’s being handed, or won’t immediately cock the whole thing up from the start. That was my point.

It’s a matter of the quality of the writing, and what can be done to properly display to the audience what you want to convey. It’s reassurance that you’re also not just going to fuck us over for the choices at the end. Stating that his head’s beyond fucked by that ONE death in canon no matter what, and even the ending could be bittersweet, when in this genre it shouldn’t be (I get that his father was important – you don’t want to know how many family I’ve lost – for context since it would be hypocritical of me to gloss over it when I’ve harped on, my sister is the last one left. So EVERYONE that built my foundational sense of “self” is gone now – I’m still here and sane. At least depending on who you’d ask. I’m fairly sure no one here thinks I am, but that’s besides the point. Death happens. If he was going to be that much of a little bitch about it, he never deserved half of what you’re trying to build him to having in the first place. He has a WHOLE TEAM that’s counting on him to help THEM shine as well… THAT is the problem with making the “star” player an absolute head case; and it’s a point that even WVM is starting to walk into. I still consider that game one of the best of this type, and has been on a razor’s edge about the whole mental issue throughout the whole thing) it’s NOT JUST ABOUT HIM on a TEAM. I’d recommend you maybe watch “The Replacements” if you want context on how to do this story the way you seem to want, well. If The Star is the one carrying the team; he can’t afford to break. At all. That shouldn’t ever be an option in this sort of game. If he’s in a position where he’s meant to help the others grow, or show their skills to be the best they are (IE: a Leader) then he has to be able at the end to actually LEAD.

= His father would have WANTED him to prove how good he thought his kid was. To EVERYONE ELSE. That’s how you fix it. Make him LIVE for the idea that his father wants him to succeed, and FUCK EVERY OTHER CHOICE. Otherwise you make the bastard smart enough to figure out that he WILL dishonor his father’s memory. It’s not that hard a concept. All of that said, I do appreciate you taking the time to answer, and showing respect. The caps are not yelling; they are merely emphasis. It’s okay if we disagree, but hopefully you just consider this me offering solutions, or suggestions. Or at least that this better explains my reasoning on the points I brought forth. I’m not saying the game has no potential or I wouldn’t have cared to comment about it as thoroughly as I’ve done. I am pointing to what may need work, or will cause issues for some players who may decide to become supporters.