Between Humanity

Let me try to put the last comment less angrily, and perhaps more coherent. Since some of you question my sanity, more routinely than I would like (hence the first part of the last comment)

There are certain set standards that create the genre Harem. You generally can BEND those standards, to a very fine point. You CANNOT break them; and still call the game a harem game. It does not work, because at that point you’ve likely blended genres too much and you end up with Minestrone. Not stew.

Lilith was fine as a troupe of The Main Girl (even if we didn’t originally know that she is the Main Girl) She’s fine to be kidnapped and a point of mystery [Hell it’s even fine to do the mental mindfuckery – to an EXTENT; IF you want to introduce the supernatural into it. Make her an actual vampire or something, and THEN you get the option to do what you’ve done with this female]

You are however, focusing too much on mixing “Meta” of current day issues into your story. Alongside blending it into Cozy Cafe + My New Family. There’s elements of Cyberpunk (I actually wondered if you were going to turn Lilith INTO the sex bot with the fact you introduced her as a character on the list… and I SHOULD NOT need to wonder that, when Lilith is ALSO on the list) The AI thing, we get it. Shut up about it already. We can’t program them to reliably beat a player at Chess. They’re not soon going to be taking over ANYTHING. The idea that you want to nod to Cyberpunk, but you didn’t render anything to look like it would be a metropolis. It’s a cozy town ala again; My New Family or Cozy Cafe (Luce… come on. What you think we don’t play other games?)

I do appreciate the renders, several of your females are legitimately attractive. Even VERY attractive. I do think you have places you can go with the story (that DO NOT involve mind fuckery, or any sort of hinting at implied NTR…) I do think Lilith on her own could be an intriguing character. Something that COULD go wholesome as fuck. But the way you’ve written it now, you REALLY need to work not to fuck that all up. Which you shouldn’t have to. This genre isn’t about drama. It’s about BONDING. Building on those bonds and eventually, building a family. No matter how large or “extended.” That’s why characters like Anya get annoying – you need to make her shit or get off the pot. She doesn’t get to be the constant cock tease if she actually WANTS TO KEEP MC’s attention. Because if she’s not going to start fucking him – and she DID NOT need any sort of dildo to prove she was the more openly sexual (Her virginity is STILL VALUABLE to the player Dev. There was no need to toss that option away because she’s “horny” and she would bloody well know because she would have been TOLD all of her life that it was valuable! Which is WHY she gets away with being any sort of cock tease…) – then he’s got several other females by this point who (Theoretically, we will get to this) WILL. This is a pacing issue.

There needs to be a balance between the story based content, and the lewd based content; and as mentioned, you’re not keeping one of those up so far. In my current all the way to the end playthrough I’ve had I think 4 sexual encounters (YOU count it as four – 3 OF them were in the same fucking scene, and 2 were glossed over) 1 protected (I was never asked to put on a condom – or had mention of protection so I have NO CLUE how…) and the rest is foreplay. Mostly blowjobs. There was a girl who did it through a glory hole, who SHOULD have been an actual sex scene by now. But no. Just a blowjob and a handy. You do know that no guy ever wants a girl to give him JUST a handjob, right? I can fucking well do that myself. There’s exactly 1 POTENTIAL impregnation and the MC can technically call it RAPE. Because he wasn’t fully cognizant when Naomi decided to hop on and take him for a ride… But it’s okay, because she’s a girl. Right? She’s been promising more than you’re actually willing to deliver for about a chapter and a half. If you want the player to actually WANT to chase these women; STOP TEASING. You have the teacher who still has yet to be even remotely sexual. You have most of the students (there is WAY too much focus on the Family – and Even Chloe hasn’t gotten any action…) with next to no screen time or any real invested interaction. You have a couple of girls who really shouldn’t bloody even remotely be on the list, on the list. There’s Simon for fuck sakes – and the explicit implication she might actually have fucked or be fucking bully boy… Which again is ANOTHER REASON you don’t include a love interest for the BEST FRIEND! Not on screen = and if ANYONE is going to be fucking her behind his back, it’s SUPPOSED to be the MC. The whole stripper thing is just destined to end badly, unless the hot teal haired chick actually wants to LEAVE the business. Then fine, and maybe MC is her exit sign. But I DO take exception to the GORILLA tossing MC out as well as the idiot drunk friend. You DO NOT get to have the GIRLS treat the MC like he’s some sort of special and then have that ASSHOLE exist solely to counter that notion. Tonal DISSONANCE. That entire arc should’ve never happened – and it STILL only resulted in fucking foreplay. She COULD have been the 2nd actual case of potential impregnation. I’d argue in fact that she SHOULD have been.

Here’s a question; legitmately – IF the MC is aware that her whole job is to sell a FANTASY, why the fuck would he ever want to go back when he was at the end treated that badly. When he knows that she is going to have to do the same thing to god knows how many other men??? You do get that is a 404 Error with this specific Genre, right? (Again, too much meta/socio political bullshit – it’s fine if you believe sex work is acceptable or shouldn’t be “judged” but in a harem it DOES call LOYALTY directly into question. That’s not a point which is debatable. The issue isn’t his judging her, it’s her actual loyalty versus the question of it, which a guy does need to trust. In this case, he also has A LOT of other females that are in position to be much more actively loyal without question… so that does hurt the stripper’s case) * Getting her pregnant as it happened would viably solve this point, and also create a potential exit legitimately.

With Lilith; you’re alluding to “trauma” and you need to be DAMNED clear about whether it is, or is NOT sexual. Soon. Because if it is sexual – she’s broken and DOES NOT belong in the harem game. If it ISN’T (That would be preferable) then allow the player to begin to FIX it. As best can be done. [I am not asking for her to be a virgin; nor am I saying she couldn’t have been sexually traumatized BEFORE she ever came on MC’s radar as an LI = In fact you could argue her boisterous fun loving/party girl imagry is a direct result of it if you wish and that would make her both more tragic and far more understandable in her base reactions thus far. Because COMPOUND injury. But that doesn’t absolve you of having to explain all of that. Clearly. Otherwise I will still be in the camp of if she wants to be left alone that badly she can fuck right off out of the game and I will be happy to let her.

Because Harem is also about the MC having the POWER TO CHOOSE which girl is worth investing in, and to join up. The Harem Lead DOES NOT just pick every fucking girl that comes along with a nice set of tits or a pretty smile Dev. And frankly, you coded Larissa so hard to be Lesbian that’s the only reason I can think of that I have no interaction with her (Which you MIGHT want to warn will exclude content with a LOVE INTEREST as far as turning the option off) Caveat being it would be nice if that option being off DID NOT DIRECTLY EXCLUDE ANY GIRL. Lesbian does not being in any harem that is not Yuri. This is NOT a Yuri Harem = including anything other than BI is stupid. (Bi includes their community as a whole – and frankly the largest amount of it, but DOES NOT close doors as far as investment in the actual Harem! * I’m not saying she can’t like girls = I am saying it’s not smart to create an attractive female character that exclusively likes girls, and thus would have no desire whatsoever, to ever join a harem unless it was for NTR purposes) While we’re at it, I actually figure Jane would be getting railed by a lesbian if I’d turned that content on, at some of her “late nights at work” but I can’t say for sure because I will never turn that content on, and frankly it shouldn’t be there to turn on in the first place. I will appreciate that you did give the option to gain affection with Jane again in later chapters… but you also NEUTER any option for Dominance. So, PICK. ONE.

Frankly, I can already see you making her shut right down like you’re idiotically doing with Lilith if/when MC does bring up the conversation about how things went with his Dad. I can also see HER being the actual start of his notion of forming a Harem; by being the one to SUGGEST it. If he is that good with Women, and actively wants to pursue and KEEP them. (She would have this motive because he is her son; and she doesn’t want to see things fuck up the way they went with her husband… or for him to hurt a female the way she was) * He could counter by shocking her with asking her to be part of it [Dominance, just stating he wants to make her part of it – and letting her sort out the conflict of whether she will submit to his desire by again, more dominant choices]

Problems to Address ASAP: Main Story; what the fuck are you actually doing?!?

Alice. Why is this girl even on the list? She’s got NO screen time at all.

Mia – we saved her purse; and she MIGHT be hit on (or actively abused by?) her “stepfather”. Did not need to steal time from the other girls. Wait and see.

Amber – This Girl IS A Keeper. (She is what Naomi promised, and should be)

Lilith – Do SOMETHING with her. That allows the MC to INTERACT!!!

Sexbot – You imply he’s rented her for 69 Years… she DOES NOT GET TO RABBIT.
[The character is also unnecessary; and infertile – I HATE infertile characters!]

Chloe: I would say throw the dog a bone… but I know you assholes would just use it to make her kink PetPlay. Yet another one you need to stop BLUE BALLING.

Hot For Teacher: Not at this point. The Titanic could crash into the iceberg you’ve created from her with my balls. (I get it, she’s meant to be a conquest like Naomi – I do get it. I don’t like it, and I’m probably not the only one that is getting frustrated)

Stripper Girl(s): Either write them the fuck out of the game, or do something wherein their loyalty is ASBOLUTELY PROVEN TO MC. (This includes the Bartender!)

Anya & Lucy: Red Oni/Blue Oni, okay we get it. Give it a rest and let BOTH progress. Faster than you have been… OR give the other girls a fair shot and stop making these two monopolize the player’s focus. Jesus. Actually, do both. Just… fuck me. No, really.

Jade: You know given the Goth Girl stereotype, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if this character exists JUST to make Lilith allowed to be Gay (Which at least would explain why we can’t do anything with either of them… even if it DOESN’T explain why both are on the LIST) Save the pseudo philosophical bullshit and make this one GET SOMEWHERE. If she’s going to be the doorway to Lilith; fine. If she’s just there to be your wingwoman/best friend. Also fine. Bit of a waste, but fine.

Larissa – Honestly I would’ve added this girl MUCH later in the game. After MC had buzz around the school and girls flocked to him, instead of doting on her. She’s a queen bee type, I get it. She should like the focus always on her – and THAT loss should credibly be his in with her. But there’s no point introducing her this early just to cock block her for like 700 chapters, until players give up on ever getting anywhere with her, and THEN you very randomly decide Ok. You can have her. Seriously: What. The. Fuck. Is she even here for?

The Sexy Tech/Spy Cop Girl: Kinda curious about whether you’re going to do something here. I would caution against FemDom, AGAIN. However she might be a compelling gateway into what’s really going on. Problem – the MC is a high school/college? kid. He has no actual means or reason to contact her, nor would she to invest in him, to allow him the access he needs to get deeper into the main story. So it would be a stretch. Not entirely implausible mind, she could just decide she likes/wants to bone him or really needs to get laid and gets “impressed” by his horse cock. Just a very long stretch. Which again, might be exactly what she needs.

I’m also a little surprised you didn’t include a darker skinned girl. Yet. Not that I’m going to give you more bright ideas about how to blue ball me. Where you want to go might, MIGHT be interesting. Maybe. I’m not completely put off yet. However you can consider all previous posts as flags. You haven’t written yourself entirely into corners yet, and I hope you won’t. Work on the pacing. Figure out where you want to go and what you actually want to do with the story. The characters all have at least some potential to be endearing. Though I’ll state more than a few have a very rough time in the showing. Do try to recall, a Harem ISN’T all about the girls. So don’t get too misandric or people will start to question whether they even actually want the MC. He also has to show that he is capable, and someone they can RESPECT. Not just want. So cool it with Anya thinking she can be in charge, or on top (he can LEAD from the bottom) and allow him to shine. Actually shine, somehow. Not just “somehow” blocking a punch to his male friend (who should fucking well be able to handle himself…) when no girl is there to see it. There’s got to be more to him than some “unnatural” charm (which you could also get on explaining. Half the injection for him. Half for her = but we don’t know what the fucking thing was, so you have your in for Super Powers, or nanotech that grants basically the same… not just mind-fuckery is US) and an unrealistic horse cock.

Barring any more collosal disappointments, I will wait for about the next 3 chapters to decide on things definitively. That will have been 6 for you to get anywhere interesting, so I’d say that’s generous enough. Even if I like the character models. Hint: Interesting includes – acknowledgement of a pregnancy; actually letting more than 2 GIRLS get laid by the MC, getting somewhere definitive in the main story, and or allowing the beginning of building the bloody harem.

Okay, I just saw the stats screen at the end of Chapter 1:

= There IS a submission counter on every female (but again, JANE’S locked out of affection on the first time you even gave the option – so either fix that or let the player know in the intro that it’s NOT exclusive and you can pursue both, or that is IS exclusive. Either way)

= There is also a raw sex/potential impregnantion and pregnancy counter.
So it should be in the tags as Pregnancy.

= I still see no reason for Larissa to be in the game if you were just going to give us NO option to even interact with her to start to change the Completely BLACKED OUT relationship system at all. Hopefully you will fix this or re-work her character. Because other than that she’s just taking up a slot that could go to someone else. Like Alice or Jade. Both of whom ALSO got no interaction. (Lucy did get some but no sexual stuff yet – which is fine with the incest patch, and still somewhat understandable without given her personality. Anya not having it is a bit less so, when you DO get a major influence with their Mom)

= Tags should also include Male Domination for reference. As it is an option (and no. I DO NOT want to see equality in that regard * IF you’re dumb enough to go there with Larissa first off > way too obvious a troupe and cliche as fuck, and B – I will simply stop playing. Delete the game without a care to see any more, then never decide to consider supporting you at all) Fem Dom IS that controversial, and a personal pet peeve for me.