Phoenixes

First; I’d suggest you create an introduction to the world that LET’S THE PLAYER CHOOSE what kind of character they want to be. I don’t care what kind of backstory you intend as a chosen one narrative, but if there are super powers involved it’s much more engaging to give the player a choice of the roles you’d think are best available. For example you state Magic/Mutation/High Tech. MC starts as a freaking Army Vet who DIDN’T get PTSD. There IS NO such thing. If you can’t write a concept well enough to understand that killing people will scar you no matter how good you are at shoving things down, I can’t help you.

Second. The very first girl you introduce for more than two seconds of a cutscene that doesn’t make any actual sense, is an innocent idiot that you don’t actually let the player have ANY choice with. So what was the point of presenting a choice to begin with. The two times there were choices that would directly impact her fate sexually your writer is just like No; screw player imput. I don’t want him to be that way so it doesn’t exist. Even though THIS IS A SEX GAME. Wanting to touch someone can be anything from stroking a cheek to a headpat. It does not have to go immediately to undressing them or groping boobs that are frankly unrealistic for an Asian body type to start with. It IS NOT the first step to being a rapist. Jesus.

Third: The very next scene, even though the teacher who has no stated vested interest in her “student” if she can send one out on assignment she knows is dangerous that late at night as a test, DOES NOT get to play femdom with super powers!!! Fuck that. On so many levels; fuck that. You wrote that scene way too early in the game for her to turn bipolar three seconds later, on the student’s interjection when she insists he’s a good character. He’s an expert fighter. She’s straddling him with her body in a VERY vulnerable position and here’s a tip – It does not hurt a girl less to get kneed down there. Fireball or not, she would be curled into herself in a heartbeat if that was me. Then MC’s blade should have been at her neck. Saying try that again and I will make sushi out of your ass.
I don’t care how attractive a female is drawn, if violence against a woman is so objectionable don’t assume that one can just use a male for her punching bag and it’s all golden. If you want the MC to at all be believed as some chosen one, it doesn’t mean spineless against a woman who is aggressing against him. It means powerful, and badass enough to deal with whatever calamity is threatening the world to the point of calling him a chosen one. Which kind of gets undercut if the first thing I see is some twit who doesn’t even realize she’s more the criminal in this situation tries to fricasse MC when he’s half asleep. She does not get to automatically apologize and play the sweet heart at that point. He has every right to tell her to A) get the fuck out of my house before I call the cops, B) Neither of you two ever come back, and C) Fuck right off. Did you not think about a person’s natural instinctive reaction to this situation before you bothered to write this?

You pulled the same bland/literally insanely kind male lead who gets X amount of very hot women only to get dragged around by the balls by all of them. No matter whether he’s actually in the wrong, or should be able to counter argue, in V.I.R.T.U.E.S. I’ve played it. Hell, in that game you actually made the MC “rape” the first female. Though arguably, it was done coerced, and consented after the fact. Then you made him apologize and put him through several weeks of earning the same right he took, because she freaking allowed it. She wasn’t drunk enough to be blacked out. She was loosened from an unreasonable guard and being a Tsundere. So why in the name of all holy balls would you blood repeat and or Worsen that in a new game??? You do get that super powers are supposed to be a power fantasy, right? Maybe it’s just me but damn do you have a lot of work to do on this game. That intro is JARRING. Consider this fair warning to anyone that cares about cohesive story telling, this is very much a work in progress. That’s as diplomatic as I can be about it.

“songzi” = debug mode