Henry’s Adventures

New version available.

First, you could put in parenthesis at some point what exactly the fuck the MC is. I was thinking at first some sort of Elf if you weren’t taking a page from Stray Incubus. Except the eyes say Demon; or Elemental. If not Demigod. Pick one. I won’t care which as long as he BECOMES or already is NOT mortal (as far as aging)

Second; fix the orc. She’s facially ugly as fuck. [And come up with better writing than “your pussy has muscles? o.O Duh] The slime girl can EVOLVE to actually have a face. Not to mention say more than Mmmmmm! For fuck sakes. The smaller goblins need to have PERKY tits and be SVELTE. They can be petite, and that’s fine… but as rendered now – they’re an unfunny joke. Not a love interest. The “hob”goblin girls need smaller fangs. And I’d argue slightly more in the curves section. SLIGHTLY. I’m not asking for watermelons.

Third – If you’re gonna bring up Pregnancy is ANY fashoion = Pull. The. Trigger. On it. Don’t cock tease about it being a thing, and then come up with any shade of reason it can’t happen. The vampire already HAS 2 daughters; so it CAN happen. I will be exceptionally pissed if every accepted LI doesn’t end up with at least one of MC’s kids by the end.

Four, don’t bloody well make ANY of the girls pissed about his having multiple females. If they all want him – WHEN they all discover it, talk it out or just have them all be happy that he wants them. That he’s willing to protect and stand with them all. (Also, Vampires… but no werewolves?!? Come on. Enough of the girls like him Doggy Style…)

I did appreciate a decent attempt at a story. I appreciated actually letting MC pick the girls to pursue and not locking any off. (Though Erika needs a NON anal scene – and Anal shouldn’t have been the first scene… and I don’t know why her seemingly much more interested companion didn’t get a shot. Maybe a few updates down the road?) I’d like to see where things go with the asian friend character, and don’t think I didn’t note we only got ONE of the daughters so far. The story’s got potential, as long as you don’t go out of your way to fuck the party over. Be careful with the pacing, be mindful of how long the MC is away from the girls on side missions (if I was the antagonist; I’d strike when they’re vulnerable) and build on resources for an actual WAR. If you’re going to go siege with it, be careful about that. It was never the fortification that killed the most people. It’s not being able to restock, or leave.

I do kinda wonder if he can do magic. Are there gonna be class changes or evoling skillsets. Something to consider. A lot of where sword and sandal/high fantasy/isekai fuck up happens to be in power scaling Vs. Difficulty of encounters. If you’re going to make the antagonist unique and powerful, you need to get the party to the point where they CAN deal with it. Especially in a harem game.